April 26th, 2016

Blog 3 27th April 2016,

It’s interesting that people take offense to things.  I listen to the local talk back radio and often hear the words “I take offense to this or that”.    The word OFFENSE” :– The act of causing anger, resentment, displeasure, or affront;  A violation or infraction of a moral or social code, a transgression or sin.
 Think of an offense that has bothered you, and what were the physiological sensations in your body? I would think that: the heckles went up, irritation was felt, even with small burst of anger, hot face, sweaty palms.  My question to you is: why do you let someone offend you? It is only their beliefs, not yours. It is a minor cause of stress, it can build up in to something bigger in the body.   If your beliefs are that strong then a sense of contentment should be within you and not let these things – minor statements -bother you.  What is offense:  something written or spoken that you don’t agree with.  It’s THEIR opinion not YOURS.  Just ACCEPT.
Why not instead of taking offense stay calm and if there is an opportunity to come back with a retort of “it depends especially on what beliefs you have…” and then continue to explain from your point of view.  Or note inside your head not to cross paths with this person or this kind of topic and avoid talking about it.  Know that you are from your point of view, at that time, it is right for you.  Sit in a contentment kind of space and let them rant.  Silence often has more power than an emotional outburst.  A great phrase is “that’s interesting however…” Honour their point of view – you don’t have to agree with it.
Others say “don’t sweat the small stuff”.  This is absolutely true, DON’T. If you do, they have won.  Stand strong and silent. You don’t need the stress.  These small stresses gradually build up.  I suggest square breathing technique. Breath in, hold, breath out, hold, breath in, hold, breath out, hold. This can be done under your breath so that no one else knows that you are calming your system down.  The science of this technique is that the offense, or the minor stress brings up your production of cortisol and adrenalin ready for fight of flight, – sympathetic nervous system.  The square breathing brings down this system and brings up the parasympathetic nervous system (digestion, breath).  You become instantly calmer and more able to put your point across in a collected and systematic way.  By having your say you will think less about it in the future (the way we churn things around in our heads).  Try it and don’t let the other person or their opinions take up rent space in your head.

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