18th April 2016
Self Preservation. This about giving and how precious your time is. Stretched too far and we get grumpy and snappy to those we love around us. When we give and don’t get anything back we start to get RESENTFUL. This is an insidious emotion that creeps into our bones and changes the environment of our cells. They become negatively charged and the DNA starts to manifest dis-ease and the auto-immune issues start to occur.
Here’s a couple of examples: there is a colleague who you shout for coffee, you don’t mind occasionally but now they keep forgetting their wallet or just ask and to refuse may make you feel guilty or they play on your good nature, second example, you keep giving a lift every morning for a friend but it continues again and again, no offer of petrol money or anything else. Resentment begins to build. Self-preservation is not being selfish it’s using your resources the way you want to.
Giving is great if it is unconditional. Family are mostly unconditional, friends are not, unless you are a saint or are living in the state of pure altruism.
Spending time with the family doing things you love is nurturing and replenishing. However if you are the ones always giving lifts do it with a kind heart and understand that some other parents are unable to do so. And if they are selfish and never lift a finger or turn up to games even when they have the time – they are the ones who suffer and are mean and will lose out in the end.
Research in the States regarding heart conditions the average age of a male was 55 yrs in the 1960’s. There was a particular town that had predominantly Italian neighbourhood. There the average age of cardiac issues were 65 yrs. It showed that family mattered. 3-4 generations living in the same house like old Italy. In the 80’s the younger ones moved out, got jobs, bought their own places. Moved away from the neighbourhood and only one generation per house. Not so many community meetings, no street games of chess. It went modern, now the cardiac issues in that town were 55yrs, matching the national average.
Look after yourselves and your family, give unconditionally when you do, spend time with good friends and say no if it doesn’t work for you. Authenticity not duplicity.